Getting back to my days with the boys

It has been a hard adjustment being home and I am still struggling with getting back on schedule, I guess I am still on Guatemala time. They move very slowly down there and I swear they don't really ever care what time it is. Kind of wish I could live my life that way, but here I am back home where time runs my day. We missed the boys way more than they missed us, but I know they were glad to have us back. A few meltdowns came with our homecoming, but the boys were back to themselves after a few days. C is still going through some separation issues and I could really just beat myself up for that. He has never and I mean never cared if we left him, ANYWHERE! He is just so laid back and loves to be independent...until now. He is constantly one step behind me and screams if I leave the room. Thankfully he does fine going to school and playing with friends.

Boys are all registered for summer activities and we have been enjoying the warmer weather this past week. It has been nice transition from 113 degree weather in Guatemala and not having to come back to bitter cold here.

S and I are forever changed by what we experience on our trip. We still have not wrapped our hearts around all that we saw and what it means for our family. I do know that I am forever changed and that my love for Guatemala runs much deeper now. I have a better understanding of the country and culture that C comes from and feel more comfortable taking him back there someday soon. We spent the last day of our trip in Guatemala City where we had the opportunity to meet with C's foster family. It has been two years since we last saw them but I felt like time had stood still for all of us. My dear friend M was there to translate for us and her husband helped entertain their daughter so that we could all catch up. We learned more about C's first days with them and while some of the information about when he left their family saddened us very much, we are so grateful that Claudia and her family where able to care for him for his first five months. We love them very much and I was heartbroken to be leaving them so soon.

I have so much more to say about our trip and when I am able to express it without sobbing I will do so in a separate post. I will say that I miss Guatemala more than I ever thought...it keeps me up at night and I dream about the next time I can go back. The only thing that allows me to focus right now is knowing that I will be back sooner rather than later.